How to Choose the Right Coach for You

How do you choose a coach that's right for you? I'll share what's important to me and maybe this will help you make a decision too.

In my experience, most people don't think about this stuff.

So I bet it will get you thinking and help you choose the right mentor for you in the year ahead.

1. Access

I value access to the people I coach with.

I don't like being in a large group of people, somewhere in a large hotel room and being one of many in a program.

Sometimes that's totally fun, inspiring and is great.

But the day in and day out of being in business for yourself requires something else.

I want personalized attention.

I want to be seen, heard and to be on my coach's radar during the time of our working relationship.

I'm willing to pay for that.

2. How-To

I've had many clients and colleagues who have come to me, having already invested thousands, even tens of thousands of dollars and sometimes even much more, and they still do not know how to do the foundational pieces of their life transformation business.

They were never taught how to run a business, they don't know their message, how to do their marketing, ask for money, receive money and do it all without working all the time.

Part of that is hiring the wrong coach.

Part of that is you as the client, didn't know what you needed to master.

I want grounded, practical coaching with the how-to steps spelled out.

I know I'm smart enough to find the answers.

But it's so much faster to work with someone who already knows what you're learning to do.

That's a big piece of what I'm investing in my coach.

3. Alignment

I saw a message the other day about a long-time life coach who was quitting the business.

She said she had invested tens of thousands of dollars over the years and it wasn't working.

She was never my client, but I could tell, years ago, that her ideas were not marketable and weren't ever going to work.

Something was out of alignment.

Like she was doing what she thought would work or she was doing what she wanted without an eye on what the marketplace is willing to invest in.

Did her coach tell her that?

Were they willing to get real with her and say "stop the madness, you're taking the 'long, hard road' and there's an easier way."

Who knows, maybe they did and she didn't listen.

(My clients don't always listen to me either.)

Maybe she got lost in one large program of people after another and did the best she could.

If you go about creating something that isn't aligned with who you are and what you really, really want to be talking about, then it won't work.

And if you go about creating something that you think is great but it hasn't been translated into what consumers want, then that won't work either.

That actually makes you into the person you don't want to be: The person who is trying to sell something to you that you don't want.

It's important to me to have a coach who can sniff this out fast and prevent me from making costly mistakes.

I want to know if I'm off message, something's off with my marketing or I'm heading in the wrong direction, even if I don't want to hear it.

I want to create from alignment.

Alignment with who I really am...

Alignment with what I want for my future... IE  a family life, a love life, travel, time off, summers off, etc...

And alignment with the marketplace... so that people actually invest in what I offer.

This is about being tapped into mind-set, intuition, trends and the energy of things.

And I value having a coach who gets this too and can coach me to stay true to myself.

4. Success on My Own Terms

In America, there is only one version of success that is applauded.

Fame, fortune and being fabulously busy.

I used to buy that too.

Now I know better.

What is so great about being so damn busy?


I want a coach who encourages me to define success on my own terms.

Right now, my version of success is having plenty of time off to be with my family, making fabulous money while making a difference and using my talents, being healthy and having a great, sexy marriage and high quality family life.

I like having a coach who isn't afraid to go off in her own direction too.

5. Feminine Energy in Business

Divine Feminine.

Your inner goddess.

Celebrity and Hollywood.

Hotness and Sex appeal.

All different versions of the feminine in business.

It's great that we have so many ways of doing business.

I celebrate that.

Here's what I think.

The more extreme the feminine message, the more masculine energy is underneath all of the flowers, pretty outfits and feminine language.

That's what's required to balance strong masculine energy in a woman.

I should know, that was me at one time.

Don't get me wrong, I like all that stuff too.

I'm sharing this because that's what I take into account when I hire someone.

These days, I don't need extreme versions of feminine energy from my coach.

I am pretty balanced between my feminine and masculine.

I am very well connected to my femininty and what it means to be a woman in a happy marriage (with a man who's very much a MAN), as a mom balancing raising kids and running a business, as a friend, as a daughter and more.

I have tamed my masculine energy that used to drive, drive, drive me, push me, made me ignore my friends, family and lovers, and turned me into a workaholic that was going all the time.

Working all the time is for the birds.

What was I thinking!?

I know, I thought that was the only way to build a business.

That's what our culture says success is.

Thus you won't see any extremes of feminine or masculine energy in my coaching, my marketing energy and approach.

This is an energy thing.

I like having a coach who gets this too.

6. A Life

I've worked with top coaches.

I've been to their homes.

I know the behind the scenes.

When you look behind the marketing materials and promotions, who are they really and do I want that life?

Is there something about how their live, day in and day out, that appeals to me and that I wish to be influenced by?

Is there an unconscious message that says, in order to achieve this, you have to work like me?

While we all wouldn't mind Oprah's success, do you really want her life day in and day out?

Beyond the fame, fortune and awesome parties, it looks grueling.

Not me.

I value having a life outside of work, even though I'm crazy passionate about what I do.

I value having plenty of time off, being hands on with my kid, having financial freedom and also time freedom.

And let me tell you, you don't need a million dollar business to experience this.

I don't work all the time. I don't want to be mentored by someone who does either.

I want to work with a coach who has a life, not a lifestyle, mostly, because that's what I'm interested in right now.

7. Enjoyment

In the wellness field, the message is find your purpose, serve others and thus begins the martydom.

I think if you're in the wellness field, it's a given that you want to make a difference and express your calling.

But it shouldn't come at the cost of your well-being, happiness, love life, finances and time to just be.

I teach clients to build their business around the life they really want RIGHT NOW.

Even if what you want isn't here yet - IE a baby, a family, a husband, money to travel, etc...

If you build your business around working all the time, it's really, really, really difficult to break that habit later on.

And then burnout is inevitable.

And then you can't stay in this business in any dedicated way.

This is about boundaries.

They don't teach you this in wellness school.

I hope these insights, in how I choose my own coaches, helps you decide if I'm the coach for you in the New Year.

If this resonates with you, we might be a great match too.

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Here's to doing biz your way,