An interesting question came up on a private call with current clients regarding our new program, The Irresistibly Attractive WellPro.
I’m sharing it because it’s a powerful example the kinds of distinctions and cutting edge concepts we’ll be coaching you through in the program over the next year.
(You’ll want to read this whether you’re considering joining us or not. Seriously. It’s that important.)
So here’s the question from Jenny that inspired this note…
“I have a lot of things I want to finish up and a lot of goals I want to accomplish in 2013. If I join this program, will someone hold me accountable for everything I want to get done?” Jenny asked.
We had a simple, clear answer to her question…
No. We will not be “holding you accountable.”
Wait… what? Why not?
Isn’t that part of a coach’s job… to hold their clients accountable to their goals and dreams?
Certainly it can be. And certainly many of us were trained to think that providing accountability to our clients fulfills our job description and helps create the results we believe our clients pay us for.
That said, when you look beneath the surface, I think you’ll notice there is nothing attractive or especially powerful about the “accountability model.”
Zero. Zilch. Nada.
When you (or your clients) are asking for accountability, here’s what you’re really asking for…
“Can you hold a sharp stick close to my back, and from time to time jab me with it if I am not doing all the things I believe I have to do in order for me to get what I really want?”
Now, there’s no question that a sharp stick can be a powerful motivator. Any drill sergeant worth his salt can motivate you to do things you don’t really want to do.
But this is the deeper point…
If you (or your clients) need to be held accountable for something, YOU DON’T REALLY WANT TO DO IT.
And if you don’t really want to do it, but think you *should* or *have to* do it to get what you want, in the long run, this is not going to work out very well.
Sure, you may see some temporary results through sheer force of willpower, but over time willpower alone is not enough. Certainly this is the same reason why diets and resolutions don’t work, right? Without a true inner shift, there can be no lasting external shift.
The greater point is that if you feel like you need to be held accountable to do something, there is important information here to consider.
Specifically, this is telling you that your current approach to your desires is not in alignment with your deepest desires and who you truly wish to become.
For example, we hear from so many of you who desire to have more clients. You want the clients because you’d like more money. You want more money because it would make your life feel a bit easier.
Now pay attention to this…
If the end goal is that you want things to FEEL EASIER, you cannot get there by doing things that FEEL HARDER. (Read that again.)
In other words, how you feel NOW has to match the feelings you want to experience more of TOMORROW. This is the way it works. This is the only way it works!
Now, we realize that this goes against what you’ve been taught. You’ve been taught that you need to suffer to get what you want. You need to get out of your comfort zone. You’ve been taught to “just do it” and to get out there, put your head down and “make it happen.”
While those motivating slogans sound good, they’re setting you up for a life of pushing, working, struggling, and striving.
What’s the alternative?
Get into alignment with your desires now. Discard any old ideas or goals of “who you are supposed to be.” Notice what feels good to YOU. Define what success really means to YOU. And then notice what inspired actions occur to you, and allow yourself to say “yes” to them and to yourself.
And what if you notice that you’re currently taking responsibility for your clients’ results?
Again, this might work for a little while. But in the bigger picture, you’re defining your job as being the taskmaster, the whip-cracker. When you choose this, your value as a coach and your effectiveness is measured by how deftly you can poke your clients with a sharp stick. Is that who you really want to be?
And here’s the kicker… By taking responsibility for your clients’ results, your clients do not take responsibility for themselves. Guess what happens when your client inevitably loses their motivation, no longer follows through and starts to backslide?
Guess who they blame? Guess who gets fired? (Been there. Done that. More times than we can count!)
We share this distinction because there is a better way…
When you are living, working, and creating in alignment, things like motivation and commitment become irrelevant. (Read that again.)
When you prioritize getting into alignment (instead of just taking actions), you evolve into taking *inspired* action. Inspired action feels easy and natural. Inspired action creates inspired results. Inspired action is the key ingredient that makes you irresistibly attractive to the people who really want to connect with YOU and who will truly benefit from your offerings.
When we told Jenny WHY we would not be holding her accountable, the phone line went silent. I remember thinking we might have lost her. However, at the end of the call, Jenny commented that she had been shedding some tears of joy.
She really got how her wanting to be held accountable was a reflection that she was still trying to push through some old projects that she really wasn’t inspired to do anymore. And more importantly, it’s not only okay to let these things go, it’s essential if you want to leave the feelings of struggle and anxiety behind and start allowing things to be easy for a change.
Getting this distinction, she said she felt totally relieved, like a long-standing burden had lifted off her shoulders. This is the power of alignment at work. And nothing makes us happier than hearing feedback like this.
Over the next year, Drew and I will be sharing dozens and dozens of juicy distinctions like this that we’ve learned over our combined 20 years as business owners and coaches.
These distinctions will rock your world, and provide a radical shift in your perspective, strengthen your foundation, and that will allow you to step into the most Irresistibly Attractive version of you.
The Irresistibly Attractive WellPro starts on February 7th.
Our early-bird savings of $1,000 off the full program rate expires this Saturday, Jan 19th.
All program information, including our hour long free-call, pricing, and registration info is here http://attractivewellpro.com/program
Be great because you are,
Karin and Drew
PS - The above distinction comes directly form our free 100-pt assessment on “The 4 Core Relationships of the Irresistibly Attractive WellPro”:
Core Relationship #2: Your Business
Question #3: “I am comfortable allowing my clients to be responsible for themselves and they results they experience from our work together.
Take the full assessment, “Discover Your 4 Core Score” here: