Behind the Scenes Tip: The Fear of Not Looking Perfect in Your Biz

This week I traveled to New York City to film educational marketing videos for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN).

These videos will be preserved for time immemorial for thousands upon thousands of IIN students.

This IS the largest wellness school in the world we’re talking about.

I have never been “on camera” or participated in a professional video shoot, so I was a wee bit nervous.

So to help soothe my worries of looking sharp and polished for the videos, I made sure to book a wash and blow out at a fancy NYC salon to help me put myself together.

I decided to act as if this were a live, in front of thousands speaking gig (in essence, it was) and that’s why my dress, shoes and hair was important.

On the morning of my video shoot, I found myself enjoying getting ready because I had only the minimum to do and could relax knowing my "camera ready" look was going to be done for me. (Fussing with my hair when I get nervous is never a good thing for me, so I like to outsource this. Plus, it’s an easy way to look really put together.)

I put on my fancy dress and shoes, piled my bed head hair on top of my head, and walked over to the fancy salon to get my hair washed and expertly blown out.

There was only one problem: No one was there but a cleaning lady and the receptionist.

In my nervousness I mistakenly booked my appointment for the day before.

Damn.

In less than one hour I was due to be professionally filmed and my hair was a hot mess.

I raced across the street to try the other salon.

No one was there either, and a quick search online showed that most salons didn't open for another few hours.

I didn’t even have a brush with me, nor did I bring any hair styling gear.

So there I was in the middle of a hot, humid morning on the side walk of New York, looking fantastic from the neck down, wondering what the heck I should do.

I mean, my hair had crinks, kinks and full on frizz from sleeping on it WET the night before. (Ladies, you know what I mean.) Think bed head when you were a kid, with your hair sticking out every which way and you’ll get the picture.

The anxiety was starting to mount as I stood there, thinking about how stupid I’d look.

And then I dug deep and said what you can only say in this situation…

Phucket.

I decided to take control and send my thoughts in another direction. (The Phuckets help in such desperate times.)

And I immediately recalled the following core belief I hold about being in business for yourself and looking like a pro:

It goes like this…

Your professional presentation is more about the overall feeling and energy behind your images (be it pictures for your website or videos.) It’s more about the entire composition and feeling tone of the image than the individual pieces that put together your unique look. Your connection with your eyes, voice, posture, personality and gestures are far more powerful than perfect hair and makeup. (We’ve all seen those images of “new biz pictures” on Facebook where the person looks SO polished they almost don’t seem real.)

And that was the anchor I needed in that moment. In that sweaty, near melt down minute, I realigned with my sense of self and sent my thoughts into a far more empowering direction.

The energetic DNA of my videos is more important than how my hair looks. The feeling tone and energy behind my message is what will connect with my tribe, and the crinks, kinks and frizz in my hair is not going to stop me.

And here is what I deliberately anchored myself in as I started looking for a cab...

Sure, I would have loved to wear my hair down and have it look awesome, but there is nothing I can do about it now.

I have a hair clip that I can use to brush my hair and when I get there I’ll ask them if they have hair spray and make do.

AND, I AM wearing one of my power colors, and I know that does wonders so I have that going for me.

And my make-up is pretty good today so if I hop in a cab now instead of running around trying to get my hair done, I can proceed to relax, cool off in the comfort of the ride downtown and prevent my makeup from melting all over the place.

I kept going, building on my good feeling thoughts and started mulling over what I WOULD like to have happen…

And wouldn't it be great if I knocked all six videos, right out of the park and the crew would be amazed at how quickly and effortlessly I did them? That would feel great! (I was warned that each 15 min video takes 2-3 hours to record and that it might be a long day).

I proceeded to imagine the crew and I blowing through all the videos in record time and getting them done in a remarkable state of ease, flow and fun and how good that would feel.

And to be quite honest, I also let myself feel what was behind my anxiety. A sense of sadness at having worked and planned to have things be “perfect” and now they weren't.  I gave myself permission to feel this fully and let those feelings move through me versus ruin my day. A few dark thoughts came up...

Surely none of my colleagues ever have to deal with this, right? They’re so perfect! I’m not. It's just me and my screwy travel brain that mixes everything up and gets overwhelmed by the city. What a loser I am! I'm forever going to be known as bad hair Karin in my videos. Fuuuuudge.

I let these thoughts be, acknowledged them and waited until I was ready to think of something else. (I think this only took a few minutes.)

And when I was done with feeling sorry for myself, I returned to my "wouldn't it be cool if" game and basked in how it would feel to do a really great job despite my hair fiasco.

I arrived at IIN headquarters nice and early (since I didn’t have my hair appointment!) and let myself be led by the staff through all the processes, paperwork and focused on holding onto my Self. That solid, yet fluid inner core within me that can choose to not be shaken by external circumstances.

That  part of myself that I have relied on when shit hit the fan, or when I ended a good enough relationship and went for what I really wanted, or when I made a decision that others didn't understand and tried to convince me otherwise.

On the outside, I looked quiet and shy as I sipped my calming chamomile tea in the waiting lounge, but I was just staying focused. I prefer not to talk too much before I get on stage of any kind.

I watched as the video production crew set up and overhead them saying they couldn't believe they were in for 6 videos today. And they also told me that during the recording, they would have to turn off the air conditioning because it made too much noise and that with the hot lights, it might get warm for me.

I had an instant vision of a Saturday Night Live skit with beads of sweat pouring out from the top of my already messy hair. And that made me laugh.

We started recording a little after 10am and we wrapped up all six videos before lunch. The stunned production team asked me if I'd done this before, and shared that this was "quite remarkable."

I’m happy to report that it all went pretty easily, all things considered.

Just like how I'd imagined, but better.

Karin

P.S. You can read this like this was a funny story about hair. Or, you’ll remember this little behind-the-scenes snippet the next time you find yourself feeling nervous about how you look in your business or rub up against the perfection thing (uh, you're human right?!).

And you too, will remember that you can lead your thoughts and that it ain’t about the hair, or being a perfect size 6 or looking like the perfectly healthy, perfectly detoxed wellness pro.

It’s far more about the energy behind your words in your presentation, website, or email.

You are the presence your clients want to feel in your message. Let THAT shine.

And sure, get a blow out if that helps too.

P.P.S - Looking for a coach that gets that everything is energy and is pretty damn biz savvy (even when she has a bad hair day)? I may be your gal. Head over here to set up a chat.

Why You Don't Need Accountability (an Irresistibly Attractive distinction)

 

An interesting question came up on a private call with current clients regarding our new program, The Irresistibly Attractive WellPro.

I’m sharing it because it’s a powerful example the kinds of distinctions and cutting edge concepts we’ll be coaching you through in the program over the next year.

(You’ll want to read this whether you’re considering joining us or not. Seriously. It’s that important.)

So here’s the question from Jenny that inspired this note…

“I have a lot of things I want to finish up and a lot of goals I want to accomplish in 2013. If I join this program, will someone hold me accountable for everything I want to get done?” Jenny asked.

We had a simple, clear answer to her question…

No.

No. We will not be “holding you accountable.”

Wait… what? Why not?

Isn’t that part of a coach’s job… to hold their clients accountable to their goals and dreams?

Certainly it can be. And certainly many of us were trained to think that providing accountability to our clients fulfills our job description and helps create the results we believe our clients pay us for.

That said, when you look beneath the surface, I think you’ll notice there is nothing attractive or especially powerful about the “accountability model.”

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

Here’s why…

When you (or your clients) are asking for accountability, here’s what you’re really asking for…

“Can you hold a sharp stick close to my back, and from time to time jab me with it if I am not doing all the things I believe I have to do in order for me to get what I really want?”

Now, there’s no question that a sharp stick can be a powerful motivator. Any drill sergeant worth his salt can motivate you to do things you don’t really want to do.

But this is the deeper point…

If you (or your clients) need to be held accountable for something, YOU DON’T REALLY WANT TO DO IT.

And if you don’t really want to do it, but think you *should* or *have to* do it to get what you want, in the long run, this is not going to work out very well.

Sure, you may see some temporary results through sheer force of willpower, but over time willpower alone is not enough. Certainly this is the same reason why diets and resolutions don’t work, right? Without a true inner shift, there can be no lasting external shift.

The greater point is that if you feel like you need to be held accountable to do something, there is important information here to consider.

Specifically, this is telling you that your current approach to your desires is not in alignment with your deepest desires and who you truly wish to become.

For example, we hear from so many of you who desire to have more clients. You want the clients because you’d like more money. You want more money because it would make your life feel a bit easier.

Now pay attention to this…

If the end goal is that you want things to FEEL EASIER, you cannot get there by doing things that FEEL HARDER. (Read that again.)

In other words, how you feel NOW has to match the feelings you want to experience more of TOMORROW. This is the way it works. This is the only way it works!

Now, we realize that this goes against what you’ve been taught. You’ve been taught that you need to suffer to get what you want. You need to get out of your comfort zone. You’ve been taught to “just do it” and to get out there, put your head down and “make it happen.”

While those motivating slogans sound good, they’re setting you up for a life of pushing, working, struggling, and striving.

What’s the alternative?

Get into alignment with your desires now. Discard any old ideas or goals of “who you are supposed to be.” Notice what feels good to YOU. Define what success really means to YOU. And then notice what inspired actions occur to you, and allow yourself to say “yes” to them and to yourself.

Simple!

And what if you notice that you’re currently taking responsibility for your clients’ results?

Again, this might work for a little while. But in the bigger picture, you’re defining your job as being the taskmaster, the whip-cracker. When you choose this, your value as a coach and your effectiveness is measured by how deftly you can poke your clients with a sharp stick. Is that who you really want to be?

And here’s the kicker… By taking responsibility for your clients’ results, your clients do not take responsibility for themselves. Guess what happens when your client inevitably loses their motivation, no longer follows through and starts to backslide?

Guess who they blame? Guess who gets fired? (Been there. Done that. More times than we can count!)

We share this distinction because there is a better way…

When you are living, working, and creating in alignment, things like motivation and commitment become irrelevant. (Read that again.)

When you prioritize getting into alignment (instead of just taking actions), you evolve into taking *inspired* action. Inspired action feels easy and natural. Inspired action creates inspired results. Inspired action is the key ingredient that makes you irresistibly attractive to the people who really want to connect with YOU and who will truly benefit from your offerings.

When we told Jenny WHY we would not be holding her accountable, the phone line went silent. I remember thinking we might have lost her. However, at the end of the call, Jenny commented that she had been shedding some tears of joy.

She really got how her wanting to be held accountable was a reflection that she was still trying to push through some old projects that she really wasn’t inspired to do anymore. And more importantly, it’s not only okay to let these things go, it’s essential if you want to leave the feelings of struggle and anxiety behind and start allowing things to be easy for a change.

Getting this distinction, she said she felt totally relieved, like a long-standing burden had lifted off her shoulders. This is the power of alignment at work. And nothing makes us happier than hearing feedback like this.

Over the next year, Drew and I will be sharing dozens and dozens of juicy distinctions like this that we’ve learned over our combined 20 years as business owners and coaches.

These distinctions will rock your world, and provide a radical shift in your perspective, strengthen your foundation, and that will allow you to step into the most Irresistibly Attractive version of you.

The Irresistibly Attractive WellPro starts on February 7^th.

Our early-bird savings of $1,000 off the full program rate expires this Saturday, Jan 19^th.

All program information, including our hour long free-call, pricing, and registration info is here http://attractivewellpro.com/program

Be great because you are,

Karin and Drew

PS - The above distinction comes directly form our free 100-pt assessment on “The 4 Core Relationships of the Irresistibly Attractive WellPro”:

Core Relationship #2: Your Business

Question #3: “I am comfortable allowing my clients to be responsible for themselves and they results they experience from our work together.

Take the full assessment, “Discover Your 4 Core Score” here:

http://www.attractivewellpro.com/discover-your-core-4-score/

Creating Time to Grow Your Practice: In the Oct 2012 Success Circle

 

If you've ever said things like this...

“I wish I had time to stop and chat, but I’m in a hurry.”

"Who has time for that!?"

“Where did the time go?”

“There simply aren’t enough hours in the day.”

“If only I’d gotten another hour of sleep.”

“Love to talk but I’ve gotta run...”

“I have to get to the bank before...”

Then you're going to love the October 2012 Success Circle training call on:

Creating Time To Grow Your Practice:

How to experience more of what you want in your wellness biz, without actually working harder or putting enormous pressure on getting it all done, by transforming your relationship with time

First things first, this is not the type of time management class that will show you how to log your hours and whip yourself into some crazy frenzy of hyper achievement.

You're a wellness pro for goodness sake, and you didn't get into this field to become a workaholic or slave to your mission.

This class is all about bring the "life" back into your "lifestyle".

And, this class will show you how to continuously grow and expand your vision for helping others, without sacrificing your financial and spiritual wellbeing, or putting enormous pressure on yourself.

Apply just ONE of the everyday practices that I'll share, and I guarantee you'll feel like you have a lot more of it.

But what if your perception of time was tweaked too?

Intrigued?

Then get ready to say goodbye to feeling like you were a victim of time... like you never have enough it or that you're up against some invisible yet omnipresent force.

And get ready to discover how to get your wellness biz off the ground, or maintain the success you've created, without squeezing every minute out of every day.

I'll be sharing some of my latest ideas, mindset and every day strategies that make you feel calm, centered and in control of your time, and ultimately, will help you experience more of what you want in your practice, without actually working harder or trying to squeeze more out of every day (leaving you feeling rung out!).

Things like...

• Understanding how you use your time, talk about time and move through the world affects your professional presentation and ability to attract clients and leap into your next level of success...

• I'll shed light on a dirty little secret: Why the most passionate wellness pros often succumb to workaholic tendencies (and how to put a stop to that!)

• 3 new mindset principles that will totally transform your perception of time and relieve that sense of pressure you feel (and you only have to choose one to focus on to experience a breakthrough!)

• 6 everyday ways to upgrade your daily experience of time (if you're a very practical, action oriented type person, you'll love these tips)

This call is free, with your membership in the WellProNet Success Circle.

And it's only good through October 2012. (You can't get it after October!)

Imagine how good it would be to set yourself up for the year ahead with a whole new time management mindset and practical strategies that will not only help you get better results, but will radically improve your quality of life.

This personal foundation upgrade is something all successful wellness pros embrace.

And now you can too.

Join us today: http://WellProNetSuccessCircle.com 

Here's to you!

Karin